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Anxiety Songs 1​-​2

by Matt LeMay

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1.
Everything mattered until nothing mattered Nothing's the matter and everything's the matter I'm scared and I'm sad and I'm scared I should be sadder But every time I tell myself I'm fine I just feel selfish and backwards ... Not enough to take any particular actions ... Not enough to do anything that helps anybody in any appreciable way ... So I just sit around and stare at the wall and feel my heart beat faster I had a panic attack the first day of vacation and said "we're not going back" Somebody said something like "look out, here comes nuclear winter" And then Joan took my phone and said "you've gotta stop checking Twitter" Who's gonna kill me? I don't want them to kill me! What's gonna kill me? I know something's gonna kill me! Who's gonna kill me? So pump me up fatter 'til my pulse gets flatter Flatter me and manage me 'til I'm just dust to scatter I'm scared and I'm sad and I can't stop thinking about every terrible thing that could possibly happen and so on and so forth forever and ever.... I had a panic attack thinking about some minor mistake that I couldn't take back Somebody trusted me to do something and I made the wrong decision And now I'm wide awake, counting sheep, keeping score and thinking that they won't forgive me They won't forgive me There's no fucking way they would forgive me They won't forgive me I don't even think that they should forgive me Who's gonna kill me? I don't want them to kill me! What's gonna kill me? I know something's gonna kill me! Who's gonna kill me?
2.
How much is enough to keep me still? What good is having it all if you don't care? Why even try, when you're just gonna die? And why get out of bed for "whatever, whatever, whatever...." So what good is having some patience when you're still fucking around with process and presentation? How do you know when you're ready to go when what you want is forever, forever, forever.... And I won't hold on forever, but I can't just give up Even though I know better, I feel like it's never enough I can't get it I feel like it's never enough Forever, forever, forever Whatever, whatever, whatever

about

The first two songs from the ongoing Anxiety Songs project.

credits

released March 12, 2019

Written, Played, Recorded and Mixed by Matt LeMay at A Question of Frequency.
Mastered by Alex Saltz st APS Mastering.

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Matt LeMay Portland, Oregon

Songs with words, guitars, and (usually) drums by former Get Him Eat Him singer/guitarist Matt LeMay.

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